Mature Jokes

The bridegroom carried his bride over the threshold and into the honeymoon suite. They had taken off all their clothes when, suddenly, the sweet young girl began to...

"Good evening ladies," Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.
"Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.
"No," Holmes replied...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Indian on a flight. After a few drinks they started discussing their sex lives.
"Last night fucked my wife...

Ed and Ted are standing side by side at urinals when Ed glances down and sees that Ted`s dick is twisted like a corkscrew.
Ed says, "I`ve never seen one like that before...

On their way to Vegas to get married, a wife-to-be confesses to her guy that the reason they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat-chested....

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It`s got to be hot. You`ve got to take your time. You`ve got to stir... gently, and firmly...

While making love to his wife, Bill discovered he couldn`t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he reflected unhappily, their...

A traveling salesman was passing through the country side and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water. The old farmers wife invited him to sit...

A huge man married a petite and innocent girl who was a virgin. He was sexually experienced and suggested having sex "Doggie Style" on their wedding night...

I`ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don`t guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman`s husband...