Mature Jokes

Calorie Burning tips for those trying to lose weight:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I`ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you`d best put your affairs in order."
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself...

Maurice and Hetty were approaching their Golden wedding anniversary. One summer evening, as they were taking a slow walk in their local park...

My neighbor found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that...

Ek bahut hi khubsoorat and sexy ladki doctor ke pass gayi aur boli: Doctor sahab mnere ko ajeeb si beemari hai.
Doctor: Kya?
Ladki: Main jab bhi cigarette peeti hun...

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen Pound 20 all crumpled up?"
"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons...

There`s an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I`ll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word...

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed...

An Exam paper is like a Dick, when it`s hard people get fucked!
Education is like hiring a prostitute, It needs both your money and your hardwork...

How to speak about women anbd be politically correct:
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED Woman.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE...