Mature Jokes

Wife: "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband: "How about the ones like...

Mr. Lal went to the Doctor`s surgery to collect his wife`s test results...

There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider. She does and they continue.
A few minutes go by and he tells her again...

A man went to a doctor to treat his baldness. The man didn`t had a single hair on his head. The doctor told him there are three ways before you.
1. Try acupuncture... It will be painful and I can`t guarantee you...

The teacher in Little Johnny`s school asked the class what their parents did for a living.
"Mary, what does your parents do?"
Little Mary replied...

A couple were recently married, when the husband arrived at his house he found that his new bride was nowhere to be found. Understandably, he got deeply worried and contacted all his friends...

Father and son had been taking a stroll along the beach. The father, who was a builder, asked his son, what he would like for his sixth birthday....

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman`s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks...

Boy: Can I Kiss you?
Girl: Condom laye ho?
Boy: Kiss ke liye...

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It`s certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer...