Mature Jokes

Out of the blue, an accountant decided to leave his wife. He left her a note saying: "Dear Diane, I am 54 years old and have never done anything wild in my life. But now I am...

A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious...

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those tiny give away gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize these key signs...

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words `sex` and `love.`...

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He says, "I`m doing some research for Vaseline...

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often...

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn`t had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctor`s office and...

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. The first guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?"
The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy...

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn`t had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes...

Santa and Banta are sitting in a bar sipping Johnny Walker Black Label when Banta noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her...