Mature Jokes

It`s annual superheroes new year's party. Batman and Spiderman are chatting. All of a sudden the Hulk rushes in all red and perplexed.
"Whats up?" asked Batman...

After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance...

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man`s penis is three times the length of his thumb...

After having their 11th child, a Pathan couple decided that enough is enough, as they couldn`t afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn`t want to have any more children...

A woman was having sex during the day with her secret lover, while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom`s wardrobe to watch...

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating from school and would really like to get a car...

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he looking for a box of tampons for his wife...

2 inches - I can`t even hold it, properly.
3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied, in my whole life.
4 inches- I`ve had bigger than it...

Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack.
As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband`s rigor mortis hard-on...

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts...