Mature Jokes

The wife has been going through the female menopause lately and has become very conscious about her body.
She got undressed in front of me and said...

A secretary complaining with friend about her Boss: He is so crazy about SEX! He tells me to do `LAPTOP` & then `DESKTOP` position followed by `SPREADSHEET FORMAT`...

A woman storms into a pet shop demanding her money back from the owner.
"You sold me this frog and told me it would be able to satisfy all my sexual desires...

Mrs. Smith hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair...

There were these two women who were friends and neighbours. One noticed that the other always seemed to have lots of new goodies; jewelry, furs, latest fashions, frequent hair salon trips...

A man came into work one Monday morning with his neck heavily bandaged.
"What happened to you?" asked his colleagues.
"I was playing golf yesterday with my...

Boy: I`m coming to see you honey, I don`t care about the high gas prices or nothing, I`m coming no matter what.
Girl: Awwww Okay I`m fine love, get ready baby...

A woman has been married for seven years, has six kids and is tired of being pregnant. So, she goes to talk to her priest and the priest tells her to go buy a...

An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right...

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Little Johhny, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school...