Mature Jokes

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not..1 point for beer!
Beer is horrible, when it is hot..1 point for women!
A cold beer satisfies you..1 point for beer...

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt...

A hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her.
She said, "NO! I am married to god !!" and gets off the bus disgusted...

Recipe: How to Make Love
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs...

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this "unusual" handicap...

A small Boy attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up & down on the horse's legs, rump & chest...

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs...

A lawyer came home after having sex in his car. Girl forgot her bra and panty in car. The wife found them, tore them up and shouted: You dirty Man... you have been...

A couple was having sex in a car. A loaded truck hit the car, the girl was thrown outside but the guy stuck beneath the steering wheel.
Boy: Please help me out...

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer...