Mature Jokes

Two friends were at a bar discussing life and love.
One said, "Would you believe that out of all the women I've been with not a one of them was a virgin...

6 GOLDEN RULES for F***ING
<1. F***ing once a week is good for ur health, but it is harmful if done everyday...

A woman went to her priest with a problem.
"Father, I have two female parrots and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is 'Hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun...

When a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor...

A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt...

The owner of a big company hired a sexy secretary; but 10 days later he committed suicide by jumping from his 14th floor office.
Police: Who was there at that time in the room...

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
"Looking at your résumé, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer...

The wedding date was set and the groom's 3 friends, who were a Carpenter, an Electrician and a Dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night...

Santa while traveling in a plane was continuously looking at a woman's legs and saw that she wasn't wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pussy that was just unbelievable...

4 men in a prison cell, a rapist, murderer, psycho and finally a gay man.
Rapist says, "Iif there was a cat in here I'd fuck it till it dies...