Mature Jokes

On his return from a long journey, a travelling salesman bursts into an armoury shop with a rifle in his hands.
"John, hurry, I need some bullets. I am going to shoot all dirty guys...

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her...

After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight...

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day.
"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor...

This guy visits the doctors and says, "Doc, I think I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and...

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients.
He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical...

Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.
"Honey, if I lie, I'll win the case...

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point...

Two blondes are having lunch catching up with each other's news. "I heard you've given up smoking, is it true?"
"Yes, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two months...

"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

"How do you know?" the friend asked....