Mature Jokes

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to have sex, but the woman decided to warn the man of her...

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts...

Lauren: I suspect that my husband used to visit prostitutes before we met.
Hannah: What makes you think so?
Lauren: Well, one night...

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mommy, what's sex?"
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories...

Santa and Banta are driving down the road and get pulled over by the police. The cop gets out and knocks on the window. When they open the window, the police officer says...

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you...

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for...

Female newscaster, "So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?"
Mr. Jones, "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, shooting...

The Italian says, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream non stop for...

The limousine was taking the beautiful, raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat.
The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for...