Mature Jokes

A woman with 14 children, ages one through 14, decided to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion.
"When did he desert you?" the judge asked...

A man walks up to a woman at their office and says her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him she wants to...

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny.
"She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards...

Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down...

A man requested a female blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing...

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses."
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get...

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.
With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down...

A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course. As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don't you see the sign? It says, 'Private property...

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick.
Well the tattoo artist laughs and says...

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The T-shirt that she normally slept in. As I...