Mature Jokes

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said, "Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?"
"No, I didn`t know that," The man replied...

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen...

A saxophone player was contracted to do a recording session for a movie. Much to his delight, the soundtrack was pretty much a sax solo from beginning to end. When the session was over the sax player asked the producer what...

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting his coat on. His wife, seeing his unexpected behavior, asks, "And where do you think you are going?"
He replies, "I`m off to the doctor...

A man walk into a supermarket and notices a beautiful woman staring at him. She stares for quite some time, so finally the man asked, "Do I know you?"
The woman answers, "I think your the father of...

The nervous young bride was irritated by her husband`s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "as I do at the dinner table...

A cheating husband decided to write this letter to his wife: "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy. I`m very happy with you...

A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later...

A man had an accident, so he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor had to perform an instant operation, due to his injuries. The man was wounded on the face and a deep scar was formed on his skin, but under his bushy...

Years ago, a man was riding the train from New Orleans , eating a bag of fresh shrimp, ripping them apart, and throwing the shells out the window. The woman sitting opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that...