Mature Jokes

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until...

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife...

Little farmboy comes in late for school.
Teacher asks why he's late...

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills...

An old married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching backand forth between a fishing channel and the porn...

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night...

"We have two test tubes here," said the professor of IVF studies.
"They contain two carefully synthesised ingredients that we can now use to create human life...

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.
"Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little...

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
"Just where the heck do you think you're going...

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back...