Mature Jokes

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West.
Tim always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly...

A guy who is a virgin gets married.
On the honeymoon the guy walks into his hotel room and his wife is naked on the bed. She asks the man, "Do you know what I want...

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients.
He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it was...

A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.
After many years, even that became so monotonous that...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man...

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a complete stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door...

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated...

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "DDDDDoc, I've bbbeen stuttterrrering for yeeears, and IIII'm tired of it. Caaaan yoooou hellllp me...

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants...

The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly 'against it. A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin...