Mature Jokes

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say: 'I'm fantastic in bed' - That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous...

In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose...

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him...

Two retired Gunnys were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.
One said to the other...

A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore...

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate.
So they decided to pull over and park and have some fun...

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms.
He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips...

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race.
At the finish, the redhead came...

In a party, a General proudly said that he did 10 times with his wife on his wedding night.
A Brigadier next to him said that he did it 6 times before going to sleep the first night...

An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.
They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch...