Mature Jokes

Out in the middle of darkest Africa there was a White Missionary living with a tribe of black natives. One day the big chief comes along and calls the Missionary into his hut, where he was sharpening his...

A 75-year-old man went to his favorite bar and met a woman with whom he hit off real well. They went to her place and had sex. The old man tried and tried, but...

Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. The father tried every way possible to get Johnny to...

Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye. After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.
Johnny’s answer was, "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep...

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions.
I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then...

Mr. Watson asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.
"Honey, if I lie, I'll win the case. But then I would have broken...

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place.
He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police when the girl dropped...

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said...

At the funeral home, the undertaker is trying to get Paul in his casket ready for viewing later that evening.
After having tried to no avail to close the cover, he phones Paul's wife to find out...