Mature Jokes

John comes home all excited with this bottle and says to Jill, "I bought this at the store. It is supposed to be a topical lovemaking aid for women. When applied to the `specified place` a rush of blood is let in and the woman...

A wealthy socialite had a night out on the town with her friends. She awoke the next morning, totally naked and with a monster of a hang-over. So she rang for the butler and asked for a cup of strong black coffee...

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn`t believe it: The nurses hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her...

A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What`s the problem? Wouldn`t your cat eat them...

One girl was telling a friend over lunch that she had given all her beaus pet names that also served as a secret reminder of their sexual talents. As luck would have it, one passed by, and she called out...

Liana was a beautiful girl. As she was walking through the woods on a hot summers day, the heat became too much for her and she decided to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly on the side of...

After hearing a couple`s complaints that their intimate life wasn`t what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheel barrel...

Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dread disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age. The distinguished lead scientist mounts the podium to make...

Three old guys are sitting on a porch in Miami. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn`t life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat...

The young bride`s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something...