Mature Jokes

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed...

A man walks into the Election office in Leeds and says to the Receptionist, "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an independent candidate."
Receptionist, "Certainly sir, no problem...

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction...

Mrs. Johnson, the elementary school math teacher, was having children do problems on the blackboard that day. "Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
No one raised their hand. She called on...

A man walks into a bar and sees a hot gorgeous woman. He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there, good lookin`. How`s it goin` ?"
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him...

A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son`s arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn`t understand...

A 19 year old lad has been dating a 17 year old girl for a few months. They`ve been to the pictures and return to her home where she lives with her father, mother having passed on several years previously. They settle down to..

A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam...

I had a friend who during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room, one for his wife and one for him. After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "Massage...

A young under-educated man applied for a job in an office as a custodian. He filled out the application, then went in for an interview with the woman in charge of Personnel when his name was called. After the interview...