Mature Jokes

Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let`s go in the alleyway and get it on. I`ve got fifteen quid."
She says, "Fifteen pounds? You`re crazy. For fifteen quid...

A guy and several of his buddies used to frequent a certain restaurant. The food was always good, but the waitress always looked and sounded very sour. One evening, one of the friends was feeling rather good...

A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. "Sergeant-Major!" the colonel shouted. "Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave."
"Yes sir...

Moanin` Mike is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life. Moanin` says, "I have great sex with my wife. She`s very vocal, she can really rattle the windows...

A guy is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars...

It happened on the corner of Broadway and 47th Street. The girl leaned against the building, running her fingers through her bleached hair and smiling more than-casually at the male passers-by...

A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about the way of life there.
REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I`m from the BBC and...

I want a man who`s handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who`ll call, not wait for weeks...

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a hillbilly all want to marry the farmer`s daughter. The farmer says, "Well, y`all got to prove how bad you want her. You gotta run across that there field...