Mature Jokes

A concerned patient asked the doctor if masturbation is harmful.
"Not usually," answered the doctor. "Not unless you do it too often."
"How about three times a day?" the patient asked...

There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, she would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit...

Two old ladies lived way out in the country, only going into town on Sundays for church. One Sunday, there was a strange pastor, a very handsome man, in the pulpit, preaching away quite merrily...

A woman was at home when she hears someone knocking on her door. She goes to the door and opens it and sees a man standing there. That man asks her, "Do you have a vagina?"
She slams the door...

Salazar, the dictator who ruled Portugal for over 3 decades (1932-68) was also known for his wit and humor. At the beginning of the world war 2, Mussolini, a ruthless ruler of Italy wanted to know whether...

Grace and Martha were from a very prim and proper Eastern finishing school, and they were spending their vacation together in New York. On this particular afternoon, they had accepted an invitation from...

All eyes turned to stare as Maureen, a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her. "Where`s your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth.....

The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a Lord Nelson...

Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen...

One day while Little Johnny`s dad was just getting out of the shower Johnny looked down and said, "Dad what`s that?"
"Oh Johnny that`s my nerve and your`s will be like this one of these days," replies...