Mature Jokes

As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up sex for a month. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in this effort. The first few days weren`t too difficult...

A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner and she does...

A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks...

A young buck went into a large store for a packet of rubbers. "Have you tried the rainbow ones?" asked the assistant, "We`ve got red ones, blue ones, green ones, orange ones, yellow ones, plus a few other...

A woman walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the fact they are about to be audited during the coming month.
Says the first guy with a groan, "I`m screwed...

Once in Fort William, Calcutta, there was a requirement to send the Pipe Band to the Command Officers Mess in the evening. The Subedar Major of Sikh Battalion got orders just two hours prior to event...

A Kentucky man went to see the local doctor and complained because his wife was having too many little bastards; she was having at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me, I can`t gets enough welfare...

A cowboy, from East Texas, who shall remain nameless, walked into a hotel barber shop, sat down in the barber`s chair and said, "I`ll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber began to lather his face and was sharpening...

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock...

The young bride`s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something...