Mature Jokes

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. 'Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?'
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, 'Let`s make a demonstration out of...

Four guys were telling stories in a bar. One guy leaves to go to the restroom. Three guys are left... The first guy says, 'I was worried that my son was going to be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a...

A five-year-old is mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lives across the street sees the beer and comes over to lecture the kid.
'Aren`t you a little young to be...

A teacher was helping her students with a math problem. She recited the following story: 'There are three birds sitting on a wire. A hunter shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?' A boy...

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, 'What do you have under...

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a...

The teacher looked at the boy`s angelic face and she writhed in agony, turning three shades of red. 'C`mon,' the boy said impatiently, 'One is licking the popsicle, one is biting and one is sucking. Which one is...

Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetics.
'Why?', asks the father.
'The teacher asked `How much is 2x3?` I said `6`'
'But that`s...

Five years old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a keyhole at their parents making love.
'Wow, look at...

Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other.
'Dad, what`re the dogs doing?' asks Johnny.
'Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above...