Mature Jokes

Two nuns were walking towards the other side of town along a deserted alley way when they were confronted by two drunken sailors and raped. After the sailors had left...

A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have.
He says, "A man who has developed...

The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said, "Well, he was a big...

Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."
She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks...

The tenant crept into the bed with the landlord's wife and proceeded to seduce her. She angrily pushed him away and said, "Stop it, or I will tell my husband...

"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?"
"It was a disaster. We were nude in bed in heavy...

A young uneducated man applied for a job in an office.
After the interview, he left and hooked up with his friends.
One asked, "How'd it go...

The Phrases of what Professionals say, when put together, reads something like this:
Doctor: Please take off your clothes.
Dentist: Now open wide and hold stil. Veterinarian: How's your pretty pussy?

A gay was driving his sports car around the corner, when an eighteen wheeler pulled out of the alley and directly in front of his way. The sports car plows into the truck and totally demolishes...

A guy goes inside the confessional and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What did you do, my son?" asked the priest...