Mature Jokes

Three guys were driving down a country road when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near a farm. They went to the farmer, and asked if they could spend the night there...

A couple who drove their car to K Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car...

A rich old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to say she is asking for it. So when they get into bed on the wedding night she asks him...

A window cleaner goes to a monastery looking for work. The Abbot hires him but tells him to clean all the windows except the top three. So the window cleaner cleans all the windows except...

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath...

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession:
"Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that...

The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession.
"So me and my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my bedroom...

"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh no you're not," said the girl.
"Then I'll take you to dinner...

A young, very attractive Swedish girl was massaging Jeff's shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his torso.
Jeff was getting sexually excited as the masseur...

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink with dinner.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said...