Mature Jokes

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car...

A Nigerian guy goes on blind date. He goes to pick her up in his limo.
Looking at it she says, "This car is big!"
He laughs and replies...

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until...

A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.
After many years, even that became so monotonous that...

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated...

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say: 'I'm fantastic in bed' - That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous...

Two retired Gunnys were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.
One said to the other...

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate.
So they decided to pull over and park and have some fun...

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms.
He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips...