Mature Jokes

A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.
After many years, even that became so monotonous that...

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated...

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say: 'I'm fantastic in bed' - That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous...

Two retired Gunnys were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.
One said to the other...

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate.
So they decided to pull over and park and have some fun...

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms.
He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips...

In a party, a General proudly said that he did 10 times with his wife on his wedding night.
A Brigadier next to him said that he did it 6 times before going to sleep the first night...

An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.
They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch...

A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69.
"What do you mean...