Importance of Assholes
Every year Simon entered the state lottery hoping to win. He never did. Finally he prayed vigorously, hoping for God's message, he walked around the fair. A flash of lightning struck as he was passing Suzie`s...
Fucking Magic
David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. "I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I`m going to need your wife Claudia and a table."
"Ok", says David and the guy gets...
Adult Movie
A saxophone player was contracted to do a recording session for a movie. Much to his delight, the soundtrack was pretty much a sax solo from beginning to end. When the session was over the sax player asked the producer what...
Father of Who?
A man walk into a supermarket and notices a beautiful woman staring at him. She stares for quite some time, so finally the man asked, "Do I know you?"
The woman answers, "I think your the father of...
Reason Not to Eat Shrimps
Years ago, a man was riding the train from New Orleans , eating a bag of fresh shrimp, ripping them apart, and throwing the shells out the window. The woman sitting opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that...
Hole in One
A Japanese family just arrived in the United states and stays at a moderate hotel in New York. As they ride up the elevator to their suite, a gentleman gets in at the next floor. Stunned by the beauty of the Japanese daughter...
First Hand Job
A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home...
The Virgin And The Farmer Boy
There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents` house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking...
Corkage Fee
A guy walks up to the "Visa on arrival" counter at the Bangkok International Airport. Presents 2 Indian passports with 2000 baht cash and says, "Two visas. For me & my wife. Here are the passports and...
Superman and SuperWoman
Superman, patrolling Metropolis on a particularly boring day, spied Wonder Woman on the beach, sunbathing in the nude! Remembering that he was `faster than a speeding bullet,` he wondered if he could...
