Mature Jokes


Stick Your Head Between Legs

A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs."
Eunice said to her boy friend Jeff, "I can`t bend...

How Do I Become Born Again?

Three Texans were in a bar throwing back a few, while they were discussing the meaning of life. The conversation grew deeper and deeper when one of the gents started talking about reincarnation. The trio started considering...

100 Year Old Sex Maniac

An old man turned 100 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl...

Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch. One evening, as they sat on Bill`s porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion humping one of his mares...

Population Growth

A small town with a high birth rate attracted the attention of a team of university sociologists. They wrote a grant proposal, got a chunk of money, hired aides and an anthropologist, found a family planning...

Compliment or Sexual Harassment?

Every day a man would walk up to a woman in her office, stand very close to her, inhale a deep breath of air, and say, "Your hair sure smells nice!"
After a week of this, she reports him to the Human Resources Department...

Second Worst Pain

A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said "Man, how did this happen?"
The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and...

No Longer Possible

An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She says to him, "Hey Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He says, "No thank you. That is no longer possible for me....

BJ for Sore Throat

"You don`t look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You`re right," said Bambi. "I feel like I`m coming down with something. My throat really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat...

A Hot Thai Nurse

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses...