Mature Jokes


Eating Dogs!

Two nuns from abroad have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America...

What You Like Vs What You Need

A man was shopping in the men`s department at Bloomingdale`s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."
She smiled pleasantly and asked...

Lower Mouth!!!

A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties. He looks between her legs, and he says, "What`s that...

How Babies Are Delivered

When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Judy got a little scared. "It`ll be my first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and actually I don`t know the first thing about how babies are delivered."

Tattoo on Private Part

There is a woman sitting with a bunch of guys at a bar. The guys were all showing off their tattoos and uttering sexist remarks as to how women cannot take enough pain to get a tattoo. After listening to the guys...

Caught in the Act

An Elderly lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the clerk advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring...

A Personal Question

A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman...

Mummy Knees

A beautiful young lady goes to new doctor for an annual exam. After completing his exam the Dr. asks the girl to get dressed and wait outside. After a while he calls her back and tells her that all her tests came out fine...

Firm and Juicy Peaches

The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middle man and sell...

Dance of Love

It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity. The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the club...