Mature Jokes

Twin sisters at a nursing home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing...

A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"
"Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know...

A young man in the military was stationed in Germany. One day, on a weekend pass he went to a bazaar and found an old woman selling quilts. The young man approached her booth and picked up a quilt. He then turned to the woman...

Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba`s last date. "You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type...

A pineapple plantation owner in Hawaii was having a problem with his trees. He called in an agronomist to evaluate the situation. "Your problem can easily be solved if you cover the base of each tree with...

Two matronly sisters lived together and managed a farm. For years both had an extreme fear of thunder storms and lightning. One day one of the sisters was visiting a neighbor, and while walking home was caught in...

Abe went to a brothel and told the madam, "I want a girl with big boobs and a small box."
"Why?" she asked him.
"Never mind!" replied Abe. "I`m paying for it. I want a girl with...

Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first thing to catch Sven`s eye is the big double Ferris wheel. "Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I`ve always vanted to go...

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear...

"What`s the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper. "The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick...