Mature Jokes

Three old guys are sitting on a porch in Miami. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn`t life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat...

The young bride`s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something...

1. A site called "Who Represents" where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange...

Paddy decided to go rabbit hunting, but when he got to his favorite field, he saw the village priest was already there. Paddy watched with fascination as the priest held his finger over the rabbit hole, and immediately...

A stripper in a hurry to get home leaves the club with nothing on but a loose coat. As she crosses the street a drunk driver skids around the corner and hits her. She goes flying into the air, and lands unconscious...

A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him, until he betrayed the wrong woman a practicing witch. The morning after she had caught ICE-Man with another girl, he awoke with an itchy bump...

Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. Sex-ed is so advanced now, they also give homework!
I heard my daughter tell her friend she ate her boyfriend`s cock last night. Last time I checked she didn`t...

"I`m in love with one of my sheep," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist.
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have...

One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"
Sven says, "Donno, but I`m drunk enuf to go ask em...

A ninety-year-old man stopped in his favorite bar, sat at the end, and ordered a drink. He noticed a svelte seventy-year-old woman at the other end of the bar, and told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink...