Mature Jokes

A girl had devised a device to cause any car that passed in front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn`t find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking clearly, she set up the device...

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What`s wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk, and...

A man during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room. One for his wife and one for him. After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "Massage pinis...

This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said...

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her...

The Admiral`s daughter finally persuaded her father to allow her to marry the able seaman. The admiral was still worried about his decision some months later so he warned his daughter...

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him...

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine...

A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given some word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling, they all want the same, so do be very careful and don`t you ever let him...

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary`s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out...