Mature Jokes

A couple is on a plane in the middle of the night, and it is dark and quiet. The woman says to her husband, "Let`s have sex right here!"
"Are you crazy?" the husband replies, "People will hear and see us...

A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for years to find a virgin but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 18 in his town has been at it. Finally he decides to take matters in hand...

Joining a new company, Tim had to take a physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine but, after a brief hesitation, the doctor noted that Tim had the smallest penis he`d ever seen...

Mum is working in the kitchen when Dad enters for the first time in the mood in years. "Mum ... get into bed," he says.
She takes off her apron, puts all the ingredients and...

There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor`s office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal. The counselor asked...

What did the croc say to the peacock?
Learn to fake it like me...

Men who can answer `Yes` to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage:

In the kitchen...

A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the next Monday. He`s really upset. Everyone in his department does...

It was their 50th wedding anniversary and the elderly couple, in their 70`s, decided to relive the honeymoon. When they arrived at the hotel where they had stayed that first night they found the lobby full of people...

A family was all together recently, just hanging around. The sister was browsing through an almanac and laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which she then read aloud, "Did you know that a woman`s breasts...