Mature Jokes

A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island. The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she would find another man. The next day a man is washed on shore. He is very nice...

A woman with chronic back pain visits a doctor`s office to seek relief. The doctor asks, "Have you done any strenuous or unusual exercise lately?"
The woman replied, "No...

It was a stormy Christmas night, and inside the tiny cottage on the Yorkshire moors, an elderly couple sat around a roaring fire. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. The old man answered it, and found a very bedraggled man...

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are at a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" Asked the zoophile..

Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life and it`s clear that they are trying to one-up each other...

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then...

Tom was in Las Vegas gambling and having a run of bad luck. He lost all his money and was now waiting for his bank to wire him some more. He was on his way up to his hotel room when he meets a beautiful hooker...

I was driving into the old historic section of town and found Tim, one of the bartenders at The River City Grill curled up on a curb alongside the road in tears. I stopped the car and hollered over to him...

To prepare for his big date, the young man went on top of the roof of his apartment building in order to get a little color for himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately...

One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door....