Mature Jokes

A man gets his fiance, Wendy`s name tattooed on his penis.

So when he`s hard it says "Wendy," but when...

Even if you are pleased with your equipment, it is important to keep it hidden. Otherwise, you can get hurt in more ways than one...

A traveling salesman was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage nearby so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander...

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc my pecker has turned orange."
The doctor takes a look and says, "I`ve never seen anything like this before. We`ll have to run some tests to see if you...

A lady applied for the position of a house maid. Asked why she left her last employment, she said: Sir, the wages were good, the living conditions were quite comfortable but it was the most ridiculous place...

Perry fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn`t believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that...

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to him, "I`d give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers...

In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes.
In this garden, Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam`s, and One covered Eve`s...

"First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh, no you`re not," said the girl.
"Then I`ll take you to dinner and ply you with...

A grocery store clerk was answering a customer`s question: "No, I haven`t had any for over two months."...