Mature Jokes

Little Johnny and Little Mary were walking home from school one day. As they walked along, they saw two dogs knotted up along side the road, doing it, well, doggy style...

Percy, an elderly gentleman, opens the door to his apartment and finds a beautiful young girl stealing his money.
Percy says...

Once upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack. Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmer`s wife and their daughter Mabel. One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel bending...

A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks...

There were three guys hitchhiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over...

This German tourist was on a bus tour of Castilla during the summer that had a stop at this old convent. The tour wasn`t that interesting and he managed to stay behind and start wandering. Feeling the urge, he stopped to pee...

A priest goes to the mechanic. He tells the mechanic, "Hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it`s leaking oil all over my garage."
The mechanic says, "My apologies Father...

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has...

The sex life of my belt`s buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!
Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they`re a big...

Sue was playing hard to get, so Greg played his last and biggest trump card. "I`ll bet you I can keep my eye on my beer while I go out to my car," he challenged her. Sue knew that this was impossible so she put down...