Mature Jokes

A salesman came across a house that had a large number of cars parked outside it. Intrigued, he stopped and decided to sell his double glazing to the owner. Answering the door was a gorgeous young woman, and the salesman started...

"You don`t look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You`re right," said Bambi. "I feel like I`m coming down with something. My throat really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat...

A prostitute with a single room decided she would get a partition installed so she could entertain 2 clients at once. A builder knocked up the partition in no time, and after he`d finished, he asked for his money. The girl...

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you`ve been telling people that I`m ugly!"
"Oh, no! I`ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive....

A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked, "Why the glum look, man?"
The man replied, "Well I just died and now I`m in hell...

8 things we`ve learned from Watching Porn:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never Impotent.
3. Women always Orgasm at...

A popular Baptist preacher, who on Sunday morning announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract, and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him...

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple of days before the cruise, the travel agent phones and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead...

ANGLO/SAXON WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only when she...