Mature Jokes

A man and his girlfriend were driving across the desert when they had a flat tire. As he got out, the boyfriend spotted a cowboy nearby, sitting on his horse, rolling a smoke. He told his girlfriend...

A gent from Keokuk, Iowa was visiting Atlantic City on a convention for the first time and ran into one of the hookers while walking the boardwalk. When she offered a fun time he responded, "How much...

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death

Johnny wanted to screw, Margie, a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else... one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I`ll give you 50 dollars...

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words `sex` and `love.`
The woman wrote: "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared...

A working mother suspected her teenage son of bringing home girls after school. So, one morning she decided to buy a parrot. Entering the pet store, she asked the owner if he had any talking...

A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young woman in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up...

Sadie and Yetta, two widows are talking. Sadie, "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give...

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy said "Me feet are freezing, will you nip upstairs and get my slippers for me?"
"No bother", said Murphy and goes upstairs. There he finds...