Mature Jokes

An older lady was out shopping when she notices a very expensive boutique advertising, "DRESSES AND HATS ON SALE." She can`t resist a sale and goes inside and starts trying on dresses and hats...

A guy is put before the judge`s bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex. "How do you plead?" asks the judge, to the defendant.
"Not Guilty, your honor...

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. "Can I help you?" the madam asked.
"I want Yana," the old man replied...

Anni, a former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a proposal of marriage from Sam who met in a bar one night. She thinks it over and she decides...

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while...

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery...

A traveling salesman once got caught up in a blizzard got shelter with a farmer who had three daughters. The farmer called him aside and told him, "Young man, I have three daughters...

A young lady was swimming at a swimming pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit. To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom...

Dennis the drunk was broke as usual, but needed a drink. He knew the barman to be a sporting fellow, so he offered him a bet. "I`ll bet you the price of a pint of beer that my prick is longer than...

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat...