Mature Jokes


Safety Drill

A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs....

Getting Even?

Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If`n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with...

No Sucking Please

A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later...

Rooster Substitution

This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks on the door...

It's Revenge Time!

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get...

First Sexual Experience

Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed his buddy Jed where he`d first had sex. "It was right down there by that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day...

A Bad Day At Work

Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Bob.
"I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died...

Airbus A380 vs Fighter Aircraft

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down...

Immense Pleasure

A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding joy in unusual activities.
"Even the most natural and common actions can provide an immense amount of pleasure...

Holiday Feast

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and...