Mature Jokes

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It`s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I`m not going to die a virgin... I`m going out and I`m not coming home `til I`ve been laid...

A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs....

Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If`n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with...

A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later...

This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks on the door...

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get...

Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed his buddy Jed where he`d first had sex. "It was right down there by that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day...

Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Bob.
"I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died...

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down...

A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding joy in unusual activities.
"Even the most natural and common actions can provide an immense amount of pleasure...