Mature Jokes

Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar.
"Bartender," he says, "give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab....

A priest and a minister walked into a bar. After sitting down, ordering, and some chit chat the priest said, "Have you noticed there are no women in this bar?"
He then realised the truth, "I think we`re in a gay bar...

Two businessmen in New York were standing around and taking a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn`t ready, and didn`t even have the shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some Jewish guy...

The year is 2222 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex...

Luiggi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it`s all he can think about...

This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn`t arrest him if...

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you`ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is...

A guy goes to his friend and says, "I`m sleeping with the priest`s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?"
The friend doesn`t like it but being a friend, he agrees and after mass, he starts...

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day." replied Roy. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had...

A woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.
"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica...