Mature Jokes

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy.
"Put your finger in me..." she asks him.
So he does without hesitation, as she starts...

A bloke went to his mate`s fancy dress party with nothing but a naked girl on his back.
"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked.
"I`m a snail...

A young man goes to his doctor with a personal problem. He pulls down his pants and displays a rather long and large penis.
"So, what`s the problem?" the doctor asks.
"I can`t get beyond a first date...

An airline`s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.
"So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs...

Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy, on a recommendation, I decided to have it done while visiting friends in Thailand. There, the beautiful nurses are allegedly...

Then there was the hillbilly woman who came to the hospital to have her first child. A year later she was back for a second child. The next year, almost like clockwork, she was back for her third child. The hospital staff...

A woman in labor is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don`t blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might...

This British explorer is in the dark jungle, going where no Western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter all in one. One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a...

Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin`s penis was twisted like a corkscrew.
"Wow," Gary said. "I`ve never seen one like that before."