Mature Jokes

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching...

One day this old man was about to have sex with an eighteen-year-old girl, who he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him...

1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins and only because they haven`t had sex yet.
2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school just sucks....

A young man in a public swimming pool was startled when his swimsuit fell off. He was in the deep end, and couldn`t find it, no matter how desperately he looked. Perplexed, he went to the shallow end...

A young, attractive woman decides to hang one of her favorite pictures on her wall and asks her father what she needs to do. He says to hammer a nail with a large head...

A population control program had been introduced to a remote island, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided...

An Indian is walking home from a long night of hard partying in the hot morning sun when he finds a cowboy hat on the side of the road. He picks it up and looks at it and thinks...

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed...

Me: Say `I am a man` after everything I say.
Friend: Alright.
Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.
Friend: I am a man....

A man goes to a railway station and looks to board the train which would take him to the place he wanted to go. He sees that all the compartments are full and that there is place...