Mature Jokes

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again....... back and forth...... back and forth..... in and out.....

Boyfriend 1: Can I touch your boobs?
Girlfriend 1: Shut up!!!!

Boyfriend2: Can I touch your heartbeats?
Girlfriend2 : Ooooh!! How sweet!!!
Rishta wahi soch nai....

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection...

As the aircraft was taxiing towards the runway to take off, the voice on the speaker welcomed passengers on board and introduced them to the pilot.
"Your captain is Miss Mary Joystick....

Virginity is like a Balloon, one prick and it`s gone for ever!
Sex is like a pack of Chips, once you start, you can`t stop!
An Exam paper is like a Dick, when it`s hard...

A young woman walks into a Chartered accountant`s office and tells him that she needs to file her tax Returns. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I`ll need to ask you a few questions...

A girl wanting to be recruited during World War II, was required to fill in an application form.
In the space opposite `Previous Occupation` she entered `Prostitute...

Police officer George and woman Police officer Mary and their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat. They had been out only a short time then Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning...

An ad found in the Canberra Times, Personal Section: This bloke should have gotten a few replies simply for taking the time to think of this!
Wanted A tall well-built woman with good...

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi! You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I`d really rather have a job....