Mature Jokes

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all...

A woman with chronic back pain visits a doctor`s office to seek relief. The doctor asks, "Have you done any strenuous or unusual exercise lately...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Indian on a flight. After a few drinks they started discussing their sex lives.
"Last night fucked my wife...

Ed and Ted are standing side by side at urinals when Ed glances down and sees that Ted`s dick is twisted like a corkscrew.
Ed says, "I`ve never seen one like that before...

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It`s got to be hot. You`ve got to take your time. You`ve got to stir... gently, and firmly...

I`ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don`t guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman`s husband...

Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises. "Oh, how are you going to do it," asks one of the guys...

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success...

Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn`t bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40...

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said...