Mature Jokes

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn`t do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing...

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn`t show up. Sam didn`t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or somethi...

A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbour there. Girl: "My father isn`t home, but I know what you want and I can help you. You want our bull to...

Students at a school were assigned to read two books, `Titanic` & `My Life` by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that...

Brad, a local beachgoer, couldn`t even get a second look from any of the girls on the beach. So he headed over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard had any advice for him...

Usually everyone who has a dog would call him Rover or something, well I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name...

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about...

An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I`d like to have some birth control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said...

Jon takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers. After he has been there for an hour...

The sheriff of a small town pulled over the Governor in his Porsche who was driving 85 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone. The adventurous Governor behind the wheel was steaming...