Mature Jokes

Mrs. Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day.
"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
No one raised their hand...

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get...

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse`s confidence with some cheese and then...

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this...

Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed his buddy Jed where he`d first had sex. "It was right down there by that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day...

Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Bob.
"I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died...

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down...

When we visited India in 1995 we fell in love with the cuisine of that country. One meal in particular was totally awesome and we asked to meet the chef. We were introduced to this unassuming ma...

A family was all together recently, just hanging around. The sister was browsing through an almanac and laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which she then read aloud...

A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding joy in unusual activities.
"Even the most natural and common actions can provide an immense amount of pleasure...