Mature Jokes

A couple was on vacation up in the woods. One morning, the husband got up before dawn, went fishing and returned, just as his wife was rising. While he slept, she decided to take his boat out to the middle of the lake...

Two guys were walking down the street one day when they came across a small pair of gym shorts on the ground. They decided to put a sign up on the church bulletin board so the rightful owner...

A man went to visit his grandparents and arrived to find his grandpa sitting on the front porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed...

I knew a girl at work once who was truly concerned about her husband`s smoking. She told me that she had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times when...

A man and a woman were engaged in heated sexual intercourse. The woman was screaming and wiggling like she had never before. Afterwards, she flings the lights on and stares him straight in the eyes...

The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about the butler?" the rich woman said.
"A set of wine glasses?" the maid suggested...

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves...

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheikh came in...

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can`t get to the hospital...

A doctor drives by a small town. He stops at a gas station & notices there is no one there. A little kid passes by & tells him the gas station is closed because everyone is a the funeral...