Mature Jokes

Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life. Then she was called to her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "Hold on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life...

Jones, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home. He broached them to his wife, who promptly said, "Oh, I`m sorry, dear, but I`ve got to do all of this laundry...

Little Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent.... "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been 3 months since my last confession. In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times...

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him...

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "well, he was a big muscular and...

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret...

Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing a gorgeous new mink coat.
"That`s a lovely garment Joan," purred Kay. "It must have cost...

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife...

A guy on a date parks his car and gets the girl in the back seat. They make love, but the girl wants to make love again so the guy complies. She wants more and they do it once again. She still wants...

There was a loser who couldn`t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It`s simple. I just say, I`m a lawyer."
So the guy went up to a pretty woman...