Pappu: Yaar, my girlfriend texted me, "To Fir Chod De Na Mujhko"! I am totally confused.
Bunty: About what?
Pappu: Whether she's asking for a break up or wants a hot steamy sex session!
Pappu was once chatting with his girlfriend on FB, and she said, "Chutiya Hai Kya?"
Pappu: Behan ki Taki, Randi... Chutiya Tu Hogi!
After a long stunned silence of 3-4 mins she replied, "I was asking about holidays!"
Pappu: Baby, everything is fair in love.
Girlfriend: But Love, yours is pretty dark!
As the food inspector walked around the bakery he noticed Pathan pressing down the outside of the fruit pies with his thumb.
Inspector: Hey you, don't you have a tool for that?
Pathan: Yeah, but I use that for putting holes in the doughnuts!
Santa got sacked as a local Tambola caller...
Apparently,
"A MEAL FOR TWO WITH A TERRIBLE VIEW",
was not the best way to call a number!
Jeeto: Did you notice the cricket team ogling that girl as she walked by?
Santa: What cricket team?
Pappu: My dick was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once.
Girlfriend: Wow! It's so big?
Pappu: Not really.
Girlfriend: So why was it in Guinness Book?
Pappu: Even my librarian thought like you. She was really pissed and she kicked me out!
Banta: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
Santa: Most likely, divorce proceedings.
Q: What did the blondes father say to his blonde daughter?
A: If your not in bed by 11, come home.
Banta: Oysters are supposed to be good aphrodisiacs.
Santa: Even I heard so but I tried a dozen the other day and only six of them worked!
