An ophthalmologist cured a famous painter of his cataract. In gratitude, the good fellow painted a portrait of the doctor in the pupil of an eye and presented it to him.
The doctor shuddered to think what he would paint when his wife, an obstetrician, delivered the artist's wife!
Santa: Chris Gayle by hitting 175 runs in an IPL match has spoilt my married life.
Banta: How?
Santa: Jeeto wants me to perform like him in bed!
Pappu: What do you do get you cross an egg and a sperm?
Bunty: A conceived woman.
Pappu: No. It's an omelette you probably shouldn't eat!
Santa: Plumbers and Pizza delivery guys have the best jobs ever.
Banta: What makes you think so?
Santa: That's what it seems after watching the adult movies!
Pappu: Mom do you know our maid is an angel?
Jeeto: Why do you think so?
Pappu: I saw her naked with her hands on the wall screaming -Oh my God, I'm coming!
Jeeto: Victoria Secrets having a 50% off bra sale.
Santa: Too bad, I like bras 100% off!
Banta: My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and says, "1st gear, 2nd gear..."
Santa: My wife is worse. She puts my bird inside her and says "Full tank, please"!
Dad, said Pappu nonchalantly, "Can you spare me twenty bucks for a blow job?"
"When I was your age, Pappu,` responded Santa in measured tones, "I settled for kisses".
"Ok, then Dad", pursued Pappu, "how about letting me have twenty bucks for a long, low kiss?"
The wife of an obstetrician to his hubby's flirtatious patient, "My husband delivers babies. He does not install them".
Santa to Jeeto after the birth of their second child, "I am so broad-minded that I am quite willing to have a vasectomy now".
"Go right ahead." said Jeeto, "I will have a tubectomy only after my third issue".
